I have debated writing a post about coping with life during, and as a result of, the COVID-19 pandemic. Rates of mental health difficulties, most significantly anxiety, depression, and trauma-related symptoms are skyrocketing in conjunction with the spread of COVID-19. Individuals who’ve struggled with their mental health before may be struggling even more and those who’ve never understood the despair that can be caused by psychological distress are learning a hard lesson. Because of this, there are a multitude of excellent available resources on the internet including some from extremely reputable sources like the CDC and, my particular favorite, the University of San Francisco. These sites give you all the right information that therapists around the world are bound to tell you, myself included. So I’m not going to recreate the wheel in this regard. I’ll let the other brilliant and educated psychologists, counselors, and LCSWs take the lead on this.

But, let’s be honest, you can do every single thing right when it comes to taking care of your mental health, you can follow every single recommendation, and the world may still feel like it is crushing in on you. You may feel like everything is out of your control, or you might feel hopeless. No amount of deep breathing, yoga, schedules, or exercise is going to solve that problem. So then what? How do you cope when nothing seems to be working?

This is the dark place nearly everyone tries to avoid - the place of despair. Yet, this is the place where you may have to go to be able to move forward. The place where it seems like there’s nothing left to do but hold on and get through it. This may mean you have to lay in bed and cry, yell at the top of your lungs, brave yet another panic attack. Be gracious with yourself. THIS IS HARD - potentially the hardest thing you’ve ever done. Let it be hard.

It can be hard, and you can survive it at the same time.

It can be hard, and you can wake up tomorrow and make your kids breakfast.

It can be hard, and you can call your best friend to check in on them.

It can be hard, and you can go for a walk around your neighborhood.

It can be hard, and you can do the things that are IMPORTANT TO YOU.

This is the essence of living with factually true negative life events. First, you admit the thing is true and here to stay (at least in the present moment). Then, you FEEL. Then, be kind to yourself about how you feel. Only then do you begin to figure out who you want to be WHILE you are struggling.

I cannot say you’re going to stop feeling everything complicated, distressing, and messy about this crisis. I am hopeful that you can feel those things, be the person you want to be, and then look back on each moment of successfully holding those two things together and be proud. You are strong. You’ve done hard things before. You can do it again.